School Advice from BIFN Characters

Want some last-minute advice for school? Stacey, Amber, Drea, and PJ, four characters from the Blue is for Nightmares series, give you their thoughts on grades, friends, dating, and more!

Grades

Stacey: Yes, they're important. I mean, I know I may not be the primo example of a little Miss Studious or anything, what with having to contend with stalkers, dead people talking to me at all hours of the night, and incessant nightmares, but I do think you should try your best in all that you do - studying included.

Amber: Oh, puh-leeze, have a little fun, will you, Stace? Grades are sometimes important - like, if your parents cut you off from your allowance because you bring home a string of Ds (uh, yeah, that actually happened to me last quarter). Grades are especially important if the new super hottie happens to be in all honors classes. Better start cracking on that science project.

Drea: (big sigh) Yes, grades are important. They help you get into a good college and, let's face it, that's pretty important. And, yes, I realize this is an unsexy answer, but it's also the truth.

Friends

Stacey: Choose your friends wisely - good ones are really hard to come by. But, once you've found them, be good to them. And expect goodness back.

Amber: Good friends lend you their clothes.

Drea: (eye roll) Like anyone even dresses like you, Amber. I mean, honestly. When was the last time you saw me in leopard print anything? Okay, seriously? Friends are always there for you, even when boyfriends aren't.

Bullies

Stacey: Be strong. Know that whoever is bullying you probably has major self-esteem issues that you aren't even aware of. Try rising above it, but don't feel like you have to take it either. Tell a parent, guardian, teacher, or guidance counselor if the situation progresses. I wear a crystal around my neck to remind me of strength and balance.

Amber: Bully back.

Drea: Ignore it. Why stoop to their level? If that doesn't work, tell a cool teacher about the problem.

Boys

Stacey: Don't go after your best friend's boyfriend (even if he's an ex), no matter how tempting he is - and, believe me, some of them are so tempting. Don't forget about your friends. And don't make assumptions about your relationship.

Amber: Wait, is this a rhetorical question? Boys? Hells yeah! The more flavors the better, I say. And a cherry on top.

Drea: Ugh, very mature, Amber. Let's face it, boys can be aggravating at times, especially when they fall for your best friend and treat you like you're invisible but then still ask to copy your homework.

Gym Class

Stacey: Deal with it as best you can. I mean, some gym classes are pretty cool, or so I hear. Some schools, unlike Hillcrest, offer cool stuff like archery, swimming, dance, yoga. If your school isn't like that, just remember that by the time you change into your sweat gear and get your butt to the gym, and by the time your teacher puts you into teams and finds her whistle, there's really only twenty minutes or so you have to endure before you need to hit the locker room and change back.

Amber: Boys in shorts? Need I say more? Better suit up in some cutie pie sweats so he'll be looking your way when you shoot the basket.

Drea: Oh, yeah, and those Peter Pan green stretch pants you wear, circa 1982, are so stylin', Amber. Want some real advice? Don't forget your antiperspirant and a travel-vial of your favorite perfume. And try not to run around too much. After all, sweaty clothes = a smelly girl.

School Uniforms/Fashion (or lack thereof)

Stacey: Fashion? In boarding school? My best advice is to try and avoid rolling your clothes up into a ball and tossing them into the corner of your room. Not only will you not end up smelling like the freshest daisy the next day, but you'll also look like a ball of crumpled up plaid paper.

Amber: Such stellar advice, Stacey. Not. Okay, my best advice? Always wear good underwear. I mean, I know that's pretty much a given, but, let's face it, when you're forced to wear prison clothes to school, it's best to try and represent yourself with what's underneath. For me that means lots of leopard print.

Drea: Like we needed to know that, Amber. My advice? Learn how to roll up your skirt at the waist at least six inches.

PJ: I'm with Amber. It's all about the underwear. Or lack thereof - snicker, snicker.

Teachers

Stacey: Do your homework; raise your hand to answer or ask a question at least once a week; and don't chat with your friends while your teacher is talking. Following these simple rules should be able to get you through the quarter mostly unscathed - by your teacher, anyway.

Amber: Stacey, could your answer be any more vanilla-boring? You want to get on your teachers' good side? Easy: bribe them.

Drea: Compliment them on their fashion choices - even if their attire is hideous and outdated, which, let's face it, it probably is.

PJ: Kiss up whenever possible. And, yes, that includes bringing the history teacher (who's class you're failing) a Mocha Latte on the way to class.

School Rules

Stacey: Obey them as best you can - unless of course you have stalkers chasing you, and so you need to sneak around campus and/or break into buildings at all hours of the night.

Amber: School rules? No it doesn't.

Drea: Hysterical, Amber. (rolls eyes). Have a rich parent help get you out of stuff, i.e. campus-wide clean-up days, lame-o class-bonding rituals, etc.

PJ: Plead the Fifth. "Really? Since when am I not allowed to peep into the windows of the girls' dorms? I thought the rule was that I wasn't allowed inside the dorms. But, peeping, that's another thing entirely. Incidentally, what kind of coffee drink do you prefer? I have connections at the local Starbucks.

Cafeteria Food

Stacey: Since most of it is pretty unedible, take only what's been previously wrapped.

Amber: Don't forget your chopsticks. You'll need them to pick out the UFOs (Unidentified Food Objects), i.e. the mysterious cubes of gray meat.

Drea: Opt for the salad bar.

PJ: Orange soda mixed in milk can make almost anything taste yummy.

Gossip

Stacey: Ignore it.

Amber: Dish it.

Drea: Share it.

PJ: Create it (particularly about yourself, i.e. PJ's a stud; PJ's the best kisser; PJ has the coolest parties) and then pass it on.